The Importance of Connection in the Midst of Loss

Clinical psychologist Therese Rando defines grief as "the process of experiencing the psychological, behavioral, social, and physical reactions to the perception of loss." If you have experienced grief firsthand, you likely understand that it is an overwhelmingly complex experience, often impossible to articulate. While it can be profoundly isolating, it is important to recognize that grief is a universal human experience. The longer we live, we inevitably will encounter it, most likely repeatedly. I promise, the intention of this post is not to depress you, but rather to assure you that you are not alone in your grief. At The Collective, we believe that our connections and relationships are as important to us as food, water, shelter-- the most basic of human needs. The point of this posts is to attempt to emphasize the universality of grief and the importance in recognizing the shared nature of this journey. 

Grief is not a singular emotion; it is a multidimensional force that affects various aspects of human existence. It can feel like a whirlwind of emotions day in and day out. You may experience sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, relief, and many other complex feelings. Your behavioral responses can change drastically. You may experience a strain in relationships or conversely, become closer with others. You also may notice physical tolls grief is taking on your body. It truly has the power to turn your world upside down, to invoke the most uncomfortable and torturous of feelings, and to make you feel completely out of control. However, I once heard someone say that once you deeply grieve, you have been given a gift of vulnerability. With this vulnerability, there comes the possibility of practicing much more compassion to yourself and others. In hearing that, I came to understand the immense opportunity to connect with others through our grief, and if we take this opportunity, perhaps we can decrease some (not all) of the distress we experience with loss. 

Whether it is the loss of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or any other profound changes that loss can bring, grief will touch each of us in its own way at some point. During these times of grief, seeking and accepting support from friends, family, or professionals can be a vital part of the healing process. Sharing stories, memories and emotions can help us feel connected to others and to the person we have lost. Your grief journey will look different from those around you, as grief does not abide by any rules or follow a simple trajectory, but part of surviving this exquisitely painful part of life is to undertake this journey with the help of others, and recognize this part of life as a universal experience.